Having been married for over four years now, and having lived together for about 18 months before that, AND having slept next to each other more often than not for the last seven out of the eight years we’ve been together, Master and I have pretty much always had “our” bed. But when we began BDSM, that all changed.
One way that helps me get into my submissive headspace is to remember: right now, this is Master’s bedroom. You are kneeling on Master’s floor waiting for Him to do what He wishes with you. When He asks you if you’re ready, you’re going to tell him yes. And then you’re going to do whatever He asks you.
On a non-play night (which is more and more becoming a rare occurrence), I will climb into bed with my fluffy socks, stained sweatpants, and rather unattractive oversized sleepshirt. I’ll burrow under the covers and wait for my husband to come in after putting our daughter to bed. We’ll cuddle, we’ll chat, and sometimes we’ll even argue. But on a play night…
We usually begin on the floor, with me kneeling. Most of the time, it will eventually move to the bed. Master will say “Go to the bed”, “get on the bed”, or “crawl to the bed”. The other night he said “get your sexy ass under the covers,” but that’s beside the point. And when I look at the bed I have shared with my husband every single night since 2011, I don’t see the bed we slept in when we got back from our honeymoon. I don’t see the sheets I wrap myself in when I’m praying it’s Saturday and I don’t have to get up. And I don’t see the covers my children have routinely sneezed/barfed/spit up on.
Instead, my eyes find the place where Master takes his pleasure from me. I see the bed where Master bound me to the rails, where I bent over to accept my punishment, where he laid me down while he worked a riding crop over me, or where he poured soy candle wax over my body.
They may be the same bed. They may have the same sheets, the same pillows, and I will probably end up sleeping in it exactly the same way as I do when we aren’t playing (after quite some time, of course). But for however long that time is that I belong to Master, that bed is not mine. I give up my ownership of the bed as much as I submit my mind, body and soul into Master’s keeping and safeguarding. Sometimes I may even go to sleep thinking of it as Master’s bed. But every morning that I wake up, I wake up in my own bed.