BDSM · Love and Relationships · Sex · Uncategorized

Writing Assignment – Joining a BDSM Group

Master and I have decided to finally take the step to join a local BDSM group. The new member orientation is in a couple weeks. Master thought it might be beneficial for me to reflect on my hesitations and discuss what I’m excited about.

At first, it was 99.9% nerves, 0.01% excitement. I know that in order for us to grow, to truly nurture our BDSM interest, we need to get involved with a community. I need someone else in the lifestyle I can talk to openly. I just don’t have that right now. I have friends whose interest is piqued, but they don’t know the ins and outs. I also want to learn about new techniques, see other kinds of play we hadn’t considered, learn how to do everything safely, and explore all the different schools of thought on D/s play.

Right now, Master and I pretty much contain the play to the bedroom, with a few minor exceptions (this blog, for instance). I wouldn’t say I have an exhibitionist streak in me, but I would love to experience being able to serve Master in a public place where no one would judge us and EVERYONE would know what we were doing. I’d also like to potentially build up to participating at play parties, not just observing. Master and I have also discussed finding mentors for us to work with and build upon our skill bases.

So we found a website, let’s just say it’s the name of an insurance company if you change one letter. Master found the club we’re thinking of joining and posted a thread asking what to expect. Everyone was SO NICE. Super welcoming, not weird at all, totally willing to offer advice and introduce themselves in real life. I’m now 90% excited, 10% nervous.

What I’m still nervous about: That it may turn out this isn’t for us after all (I don’t think this will be the case, but you never know. I could be deluding myself into thinking we’re actually D/s. If we see serious couples who have been in the lifestyle a long time, we MIGHT realize we’re not up for that.)

That people will judge us for being new.

That people will judge us for how un-collar-y my collar looks.

That men will approach me and I’ll have to turn them down. I just don’t feel safe doing that sometimes. I know Master will be there with me and will protect me, I’d just rather he didn’t have to.

That people will be critical of how I look. (Dumb, I know. I’m actually barely overweight and a size 10. After having two kids. Sure, my stomach and breasts aren’t what they used to be, but in no way am I unattractive. In my opinion. But still.)

That we’ll be too nervous to learn anything.

That no one will talk to us.

What I’m excited about: We’re finally doing this!

The people online seem so nice.

I’ll finally meet fellow submissives, maybe make friends, and have someone to talk to and relate to.

This is an opportunity for Master’s and my D/s relationship to grow.

It’s a night out without the kids.

This club offers a lot of amenities, which could be fun to take advantage of when the opportunity presents itself.

We’ll have a community. A REAL community.

We’ll get to be exposed to other kinds of play and maybe our own limits will evolve and change.

I’ll get to be out in public as Master’s submissive.

We might have a monthly or semi-monthly event we can go to and enjoy as a couple, which will give us more time alone together.

Public sex might be totally hot.

In conclusion, I am very much looking forward to the orientation and observing the following play party for a few minutes after.

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5 thoughts on “Writing Assignment – Joining a BDSM Group

  1. Public sex is totally hot. As is practicing power dynamic in front of others. Don’t forget D/s is not a competitive sport. You can’t be doing it wrong or not be doing it good enough. What works for you and yours is exactly the right way to do it for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the comment and the advice! I have an upcoming post I’d love your feedback on regarding pretty much exactly what you said: you can’t be doing it wrong. I had a negative experience on a website the other day, and I posed a question regarding the issue in the post. It’s coming out on Friday. I sincerely hope you’ll give me your thoughts on it then!

      Liked by 1 person

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