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Writing Assignment # 3 – Rope: What I’m Looking Forward to and What Makes Me Nervous

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is quite as sexy as a man proposing a trip to Home Depot. I absolutely 100% do NOT mean that, by the way. There were four kinds of stores that bored the ever-living shit out of me as a kid: auto parts, the Bed Bath & Beyond types, furniture stores, and hardware stores. While I have come to love shopping for stuff to decorate with and use in the house, and have to acknowledge the usefulness of auto parts stores now that I own and have to maintain my very own car, I still LOATHE hardware stores. Seriously, other than the obvious moral/accuracy/realism drawbacks of FSOG, Anastasia working in a hardware store was my biggest gripe about that story. Item #594 of How I Do NOT Relate to Ana.

So when Master suggested a trip to Home Depot for the purposes of purchasing rope, I may have rolled my eyes a bit. Aside from my distaste for the sprawling structure of not-one-damn-thing-I-care-about-for-a-whole-city-block, the idea of carting two small children around this leviathan to look for kinky sex tools is not exactly high on my list of “things I want to do this weekend.” I was partially thankful for the stomach flu that glued me to my bed and the couch this past Sunday.

When Master first assigned this writing exercise, I thought “I’m not really scared of using rope. We’ve done bondage before. It’ll take practice. What could possibly go wrong?” And I thought that for awhile. Then I realized we’re going to have to practice. This could take a long time. And it could be quite tedious while we “learn the ropes” (*rimshot*) I have the patience of a 50+mph driver with somewhere to be, driving behind a 40-mph driver on a one-lane backroad for 20 miles. Getting the hang of this could be emotionally taxing, and try our relationship. (I don’t act bratty often, but it wears on Master’s nerves real quick when I do.)

Then I tried to reassure myself that I’ll be able to opt out if we start getting frustrated, only to realize that rope bondage will take TIME. It’s not like a blindfold that just slips off. It’s not like handcuffs that you just unbuckle. What if we’re in a scene and I need to use my safeword? There will need to be unknotting, unwinding, and god forbid having to use scissors on the rope I will have spent indeterminate-but-excruciating minutes in godforsaken Home Depot Hell to buy, only to have to return to purchase more.

Fuck. Fuck fuck shit damn fuck.

But I’m still willing to try. I think it would add a level of sultriness to our play. More of a slow seduction. And I love having my wrists bound during sex. I want to be bound with rope. I just don’t know if I’m up for all the work that comes with it.

What I’m excited about (assuming best case scenario here) is to enjoy the feeling of Master wrapping the coils around me. Enjoying the unique give of the ropes that cuffs don’t provide, with the snug fit that ties don’t seem to allow for. I want to try different positions of bondage that cuffs don’t lend themselves well to. For example, my cuffs are leather straps that buckle around the wrist and connect/disconnect by a chain between them. It’s impossible to tie me with my arms apart. And the ties we’ve used in the past start to untie themselves with just a little pulling. Assuming best case scenario again, I am excited to have my arms apart and to be able to tug on them as much as Master will allow.

That’s another big thing: the struggle. I’m not one to fight against my restraints. I’m pretty damn happy to be in them, actually. But I don’t like having to worry about whether I’m going to undo them during the natural course of fucking. It takes me out of the mood a little. And I don’t want to be that submissive who says “Uh, Master? My hands are free…” I used to just hold my wrists together or overhead as if they were tied by sheer force of will. Which, if that had been the intention, would have been extremely hot. Given that I was trying to keep Master from noticing that I had full range of motion, it wasn’t the feeling I was hoping for. I want to PULL. I want to wiggle. I want something that will hold ME in place.

So it’s not just a superfluous method of bondage. Rope has some seriously attractive benefits, even outside the bondage art I mentioned in a previous post. For Master, and for orgasms, I will go to Home Depot. That is the very first time I have strung the words “orgasms” and “Home Depot” into the same thought. And outside of this exact context, that will likely be the last.

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