First of all, I am extremely interested in a Saint Andrew’s Cross.
This fearsome-looking thing has haunted some of my fantasies ever since I found out what it was. (Thank you, Tara Sue Me. see The Training and The Master). The idea of being bound while standing, vulnerable, in perfect placement for any implement for spanking and for any delicious activity Master sees fit to permit me, is SO incredibly sexy. The chains and cuffs are also a large draw. I often imagine being bound, completely unable to move, for Master’s pleasure. And it would give me a great deal of pleasure as well.
We have used cuffs, ties, my wrists and arms being pinned down by Master, and also the instruction to not move my limbs from where Master placed them. All of which were insanely enjoyable. But I would very much like to experience being bound while standing and completely unable to move or cover myself. Particularly with my hands bound above my head and partially supporting my weight. I would feel exposed, vulnerable, and alive.
Second, I would like to try a flogger.
These bad boys are a BDSM staple, and they come in many different materials: fur, suede, leather, rubber, feathers, even metal. Some are like the one above, some have braided tails, some even have beads and pieces of metal in them. Seeing as how I have not yet experienced a flogger, I would want to start with something softer and gradually work my way up to heavy whips. The one pictured above is nowhere near soft enough. And the reason I want to try floggers is because I really, REALLY loved the riding crop. I find it exceptionally pleasurable to be at the mercy of Master yielding a whip for our mutual excitement.
Next, a spreader bar. Preferably with cuffs.
The limitation of movement, the bondage, and the fact that this baby puts you in a position that screams “Please fuck me, Master.” It’s a rather compact, easy-to-slide-under-the-bed type of toy that looks easy enough for weeknight play. But it’s the notion of being spread and positioned for Master, with the sinful addition of the bondage (hello, captive-damsel fantasy!), that makes the prospect of this tool so intriguing. It was one of the first toys I found myself interested in, long before I found out what a Saint Andrew’s Cross is and before I felt comfortable enough to try a flogger. Even in my increased comfort level, I still really want to try one of these out at least once.
Another BDSM staple, but far more complicated than tying one’s shoes. Rope can be woven around a submissive’s body in such intricate ways. (I strongly encourage a websearch. “BDSM rope” images should do the trick. Careful! NSFW!!! Although if you are reading this on your work computer, it may already be too late.) They can be used purely for decoration, for restraining, or even for the submissive to wear for extended periods in such a way as to tantalize and tease her. Should her Master so choose. I would personally like to experience all of these uses of rope. If Master is willing to learn all these different knots, I feel it would add another level to our play. It would be a subtler aspect. A rope is psychologically different from cuffs and ties. A rope is very Tarzan-and-Jane. Crude. Rudimentary. But something you can make so elaborate and beautiful. A tool of finesse and knowledge. Being in Master’s hands as he created art on my body, or as he bound me with its coarse cords, would be vastly interesting, to say the least.
Finally – A leash.
This one I have my reservations about. The idea of a leash seems demeaning. Off-putting. Like I would be betraying my feminist nature and disrespecting myself. And yet… I didn’t really think I would enjoy spanking, even when we first got into this! I was only willing to try it because my extremely limited understanding of BDSM left me with the impression that you can’t have BDSM without spanking. And I thought “what kind of woman can look at herself in the mirror after allowing a man to do that to her?” I have the answer to that question now, in case you’re interested.
A fucking sex goddess, that’s who. A woman who has had orgasms so powerful that her screams caused the walls to shake. (Ok, not literally. But if plaster and concrete were the least bit wobbly, there would have been some SERIOUS wobbling.) So the reason I want to try this is to see what it feels like. To see if I enjoy it. I am not interested in pet-play. But I enjoy crawling. I enjoy kneeling. I enjoy going where Master tells me to go. A leash would just be another way of doing these things. And who knows? It could even be as much of an epiphany as spanking. Or it could be a major failure. And that’s ok, because I won’t know if I like it til I try it. And I want to know what I like.
As a new submissive, I have not tried very many tools. Most of our play has been psychological and different kinds of spankings, learning to delay orgasm, intensifying “vanilla” into a darker flavor. We’ve played with various commands, rules, and positions. Not all of it was sexy. We figured out there are a few things we do not, in fact, enjoy. And have agreed not to do again. But we haven’t stopped exploring. And I very much look forward to exploring even more, hopefully with some, if not all, of the instruments above.