Since getting deeper into power exchange, Master and I have had to communicate more about what is going on in our heads. We’ve had some disagreements, misunderstandings, and arguments. But what comes out at the end is always a feeling of being closer.
Master does things to me no other man could ever do. Sure, another man could pick up a riding crop and strike me with it. Another man could bind me to a door. Another man could order me around. But no other man will ever speak to my soul the way Master does. He knew me before we began this journey. He knows exactly what kind of praise makes my heart soar. He knows what kinds of punishments I can endure and which ones will be the most effective. He can read my body and know what I need, sometimes even before I do.
I love serving him. Being on my knees waiting for him is thrilling. The way his voice strokes me, commands me, praises me, even admonishes me sends chills down my spine in the most delicious way. I love the way he dominates me. And when Master asks me to look at him, I can see the way he loves my submission. The way he loves me.
After a particularly intense scene, I lie on the bed and wait for Master to attend to me and provide aftercare. He’ll rub lotion on my ass to soothe away any pain, he’ll whisper to me about what a good girl I was, how strong and tough I am, how well I did. Then he’ll get into bed next to me and pull me into his arms to continue his gentle whispers. That is when I feel beautiful. My body, which moments ago was there entirely for Master’s enjoyment, is alive and buzzing with sexual satisfaction. Sore, but thoroughly and properly fucked. I feel BEAUTIFUL. Strong. Feminine. Soft. Desirable. Lovable. As close to perfect as any human can achieve. I feel weightless and floaty. And really fucking tired. Being in Master’s arms and letting the feelings flow through me is paradise.
I have never experienced anything even remotely close to this. I have had orgasms before. I’ve felt beautiful, sleepy, and happy before. Never like this.
When I wait on my knees, I center myself. Then I hear Master walk into the room and my heart starts to race, my arms shake, and I can hear my breathing get choppy. Then he’ll reach down to touch me. Something simple, like push my hair aside or stroke my cheek. And that’s it. I’m done for. I’d do anything he told me to. I’d try anything. I know I can trust him because we’ve been together for so long.
The connection is so much deeper than anything I’ve ever felt before. And after years of being confused, ashamed, and scared, it feels divine to have this clarity. And even better to have it with Master.